I went to the new Hercules movie, expecting a “Clash of the Titans” type of epic. All such hopes were crushed within the first three minutes of the movie, when a baby Hercules effortlessly killed two poisonous snakes, in a comical manner. Comical because it was silly, mind you. I almost turned around and left, but laziness got the better of me and I stayed.
I should have left. You know the skits they do during wrestling? Imagine that, only for ninety minutes. I cannot think of a single movie to compare it to, to give you an idea of what it was like. The budget was on par with a Sci-Fy channel movie. And the actors, over-acted. It was like watching a theatrical play… put on by a high school. Throughout the entire movie I was reminded over and over that I was watching a movie. The actors looked like role players having a fun day in the park. Yeah, it was that bad. Maybe I’ve been spoiled by the CGI effects in other movies lately, but this one was again, the level you’d expect for a made for tv movie.
The plot, was a haphazard mess. It tried to throw in some twists and drama. But it was delivered sloppily, kind of like a nickelodeon cartoon. In fact, if this movie had been a cartoon, I think it would have been a smashing success.
But as it is, don’t see it. It’ll be out on tv soon, just wait until then. And even then, only watch it if your alternative is watching the home shopping network. I know some of you are tempted to go see it, just to see how bad it is. Don’t, just don’t, you’ll regret it. It’s not as bad as when I saw the Will Smith movie “After Earth”, but its close.