I can usually tell if I’m going to like or hate a movie within the first five minutes. This movie… I hated it after the first actor opened his mouth. I literally reached over, patted my husband’s shoulder and said, “I’m so sorry.”
Based off the trailer, I was expecting Van Helsing mixed with 300. Some nice, dark scary vampires. What I got was Hercules, the tv show, mixed with Eragon, only with bats instead of dragons.
It felt like someone thought up a bunch of awesome action scenes, then tried to string together a plot that would enable them to use these scenes. Which resulted in a plot that made no sense.
There’s a scene where the Dracula guy says, “You think you are alive because you can fight? You are alive because of me!” Absolutely no one would have been thinking this. No one. Why? Because he has literally been doing all the fighting. No one else has even picked up a sword. But the line sounded cool, so I’m sure that’s why they used it.
He fights a thousand man army. By himself. But the army is right outside the gates of his castle. And he’s not killing them very fast, I mean, it’s fast, maybe twenty people a minute. But that’s leaves like, over an HOUR for the last twenty to go storm the castle. But they don’t, they just stand in line for their chance to get killed by him.
Starting to see the plot problems here?
Don’t go… maybe save it for a DVD rental so you and your friends can make fun of it while watching. Cause that’s what I did. Normally, I would say the other movie patrons were annoyed, but most of them were either asleep or doing the same thing.