Monthly Archives: January 2016

The Fifth Wave, movie review

When I first saw the trailer for this movie—I knew I wanted to see it. Then the reviews came out—not a single positive one in the bunch. The “hate” was so strong that it made me want to see the movie even more. I simply had to know why this movie was so horrible.

The film is similar to “Maze Runner” and “Twilight.” There are obvious bits stolen from both films, so much so that one actor sounds exactly like Edward from “Twilight.” He acts exactly like him too.

In a nutshell—the movie is awesome. If you enjoy laughing and mocking a film that is trying to be a drama but comes off as a comedy. I thoroughly enjoying my viewing. The hardest part was stifling my laughter, because everyone around me was deadpan and, I dunno, trying to relate with characters? Whereas I mocked the characters and found their choices so silly I nearly busted a rib.

So here are a few examples of what I’m referring too. Be forewarned, there are some spoilers, but they are kept to a minimum. I don’t give away any of the plot.

The remaining human survivors have set up their own camp, after the first four invasion waves have hit. The Army shows up—in running trucks even though wave 1 took out all electronics—uh, red flags anyone? The Army takes the children on the buses, telling the parents that buses will come later for them. Now, I am not a parent so I cannot attest to whether I would willingly put my child on a bus and separate from them during an end of the world situation. Its not like there’s a visible threat happening to motivate them to get their children to safety, the Army says do it, and they do. I do not know a single parent who would do this. Nor do I think the Army would do this, because now they have a bunch of children they have to take care of. Maybe, women and children go first, and save the men for later, but never just take children. So right here, the movie was ruined for me, cause those parents would not give over their children, not without a huge fight. I’m talking concentration camp forced separation kind of situation.

Next, there’s a scene where the lead heroine is being shot at by a sniper. He hits her in the thigh. She rolls under a car. Which is a good safe place, but what does she do? After regaining her composure, she rolls out, empties her gun by shooting into the air (a gun no one showed her how to use) and then falls into the ditch and passes out. Who would do that? She basically ran into the line of fire and then passed out.

Someone saves her, she wakes up in their house. Of course, being the idiot she is, she tries to walk and the wound starts to bleed. Her rescuer then gives her stitches. She asks how long she’s been there and get this—a week. Um, why did you not give her stitches when she was unconscious? Why did you wait a week? And really, stitches aren’t going to do you any good after a week, there’s like a 24 hour window to do those, otherwise the skin is not going to reconnect. Those stitches either were a cure all or we hunkered down in the house for months, cause she’s walking, running, the whole deal a few scenes later.

My favorite part is the heroine’s alien stalker. He pretty much saw her and fell in love—crazy stalker, right? He flat out tells her that he loves her and wants to join the humans for her. Thankfully this movie does break one clique and the woman says she wants nothing to do with him, as she should, she freaks out and tell him to go away. It was nice to see a woman not fall into the arms of her crazy stalker. He keeps pursuing her, making for some awesome moments, especially when he finds her with her high school sweetheart. The, “who is this?” is just perfect and had me rolling on the floor.

I didn’t realize this last bit, but as I was telling my husband about how ridiculous the movie was, he asked me, “What weapons did the aliens have?” They had the technology to create earthquakes, spaceships, an EM pulse, even a virus that is transferable from birds to humans—yet, they did not bring their own weapons. I guess they figured, “We’ll just use whatever we find.” Who needs weapons for an alien invasion?

As I said, I would recommend seeing it, because its hilarious. But yes, the reviews are correct. You’ll figure out the plot twists way ahead of time, nothing about the film is believable, and its obvious the person writing it knows nothing about injuries, guns, science, or how humans behave in moments of crisis. But I actually did enjoy it. Part of me hopes there is a sequel…


13 Hours, Movie review

This is one of the best movies I’ve seen in a while. The acting was spot on, the plot keeps moving, there’s action, drama, the whole nine yards. Yes, the movie is two and half hours long, but it doesn’t feel that long. There are no lulls even long enough to give you a chance for a bathroom break—so do not guzzle that beverage until the last hour of the movie. The film is similar to “Zero Dark Thirty” although I would go so far as to say this has more action. If you liked “Zero Dark Thirty,” you will enjoy this movie as well.

There is some gore in the last thirty minutes that will make you cringe, but otherwise it isn’t shown. This movie does a good job of not glorifying the gore and instead focuses on the confusion and drama of war. Even the Libyans were made to be relate able, not all of them were bad, and some even tried to help.

The plot is unpredictable, and the characters offer very original dialogue, adding to the realism of the movie.

Overall, I would recommend the movie to anyone who can handle the violence. War movie fans will love it.

IMDb link

Carol, movie review

This movie was nominated for a lot of awards and nearly all the reviews I found were positive, so I decided to give it a try, even though the movie had barely been advertised and I hadn’t heard much about it. I expected the plot to be slow, but it was slower than I thought it would be. There is one song played periodically throughout the movie, pretty much if something dramatic is about to happen, you’ll hear the theme music.

The film takes place in the fifties, and a lot of effort was made to keep the movie true to the era. I was shocked at how many era specific cars they found to fill the streets with!

The love story is a twist on normal stereotypes. The wife is cheating on her husband with other women. The husband is still in love with her, and uses custody of their child as a means to stall the divorce. Her behavior with other women is used as blackmail and she is even sent to a therapist for treatment.

What was odd to me was the crowd this movie attracted. Everyone, except me, was well over sixty. We are talking people with canes, wheelchairs, adult diapers, and oxygen masks. Mostly husbands and wives. I did not think a movie about lesbians appealed to that generation so the best I can surmise is that they were there for the nostalgic trip back to their childhood since the movie was likely set in the time period when they were children.

Overall, yes it was a good movie, the best parts were some truly original one-line comments made by some of the characters. But to be honest, if I’d been watching the movie at home, I would have changed the channel during one of the boring parts. If you saw, Bessie, the pace of this movie was similar to that, minus the violence.

IMDb link

Snowpiercer, movie review

This movie has an interesting plot premise, (an ice age has hit and the sole survivors of humanity live on a train that never stops) but too many aspects don’t add up. First, I was distracted the entire movie as I tried to figure out the relationship between the two main male characters. Are they best friends, gay, brothers? They all have beards so its impossible to tell their ages. Apparently there is a 17 year age gap between them, it was not noticeable and made it harder to figure out the dynamics of their relationship. At the very end of the film, an explanation is given.

The plot holes are things like, there are chicken eggs and chickens strung up in a deep freezer, but where are the living chickens? Supposedly, we walk the entire length of the train, but the livestock was not shown. Yet, we are shown the food. Even the bugs that are used to make the protein bars… where are they coming from?

The shock value of certain plot aspects are well done. The surprises keep coming in unpredictable ways. I just wish they’d made a bit more sense. The slow unveiling of the plot twists are what keep the movie entertaining. The problem is, it just doesn’t make sense if you think about it—at all.

And the ending of the movie is one that leaves you shaking your head. I won’t give it away because the spoiler is too large.

IMDb link

The Revenant, movie review

I can totally see why Leonardo DiCaprio won a Golden Globe for his performance in this film. He manages not only to make you feel like you are right there, watching this happen to a real person, but you also feel the pain he is going through. I was cringing, twitching, and gagging for most of the film. You know how some people take their easily scared friends to a scary movie? This is a good movie to take your squeamish friends too. Their reactions will be epic.

It was about thirty minutes in when I was getting nauseous from the gore and realized I should not have seen this movie. I decided to stay because I figured the worst was over, the bear attack happened, so it’s all uphill now, right? The mending will begin as he travels back to camp. Yeah, I was wrong. The punishment never ends for Leonardo’s character. It seriously continues right up to the last few minutes. So if you can’t handle the gore in the first few scenes, leave, just leave, cause it only gets worse.

The plot is loosely based on real events. You can tell this is a story that has evolved in true “tall tale” fashion. A secondary story or two are included to provide opportunities for seeing more of the horrible side of humanity (some rape and double crosses regarding Native Americans and the French) and shine some more “awesomeness” on Leonardo.

I hope Leonardo got some massages or something as part of his contract, cause most of the movie has him on the ground crawling. That had to be rough on his body, even in real life. And it was filmed outdoors, in real frigid temps, so that is really Leonardo crawling through snow and splashing around in icy water.

Should you see the movie? Yes, but only if you have the stomach for it. This isn’t blood and gore for the sake of it, like the Hateful 8, this is emotional gut-wrenching pain that you will feel in more ways than one. The plot, although it does feel exaggerated, will keep your attention.

Ride Along 2, movie review

It’s obvious from the first scene that Kevin Hart is trying to support this movie all on his own. The supporting cast and even his co-star are really “phoning it in” during the entire movie. Yeah, I get that the characters are trying to play their role, but it really came off as them just not caring. A cardboard cut out of Ice Cube would have played the role just as—no—probably better than the real actor did. The lack of effort from everyone else makes Kevin Hart look like he’s trying too hard, which makes this movie more of a sad affair than a comedy.

Right from the start, I was picking out scenes that were unbelievable. Jumping into a driving car—all new cars have self-locking features so uh, he would not have been able to just open the door. Um, the alligator, would have been exhausted after the first attempt to eat Hart’s character, not continued thrashing/fighting for five minutes. I get it’s a comedy and its not meant to be realistic, but when a movie isn’t keeping your attention, the flaws like this stand out even more.

If you’re a Kevin Hart fan, like myself, than I would suggest seeing the movie, because he really does a great job. If you are thinking of seeing this movie for any other reason—don’t. You will be disappointed.

The Hateful Eight, movie review

I wasn’t sure if I’d enjoy this movie. The reviews kept calling it a vanity and they weren’t praising it much at all. But after seeing it, I’m kind of wondering if the critics walked into the wrong movie screening.

Yes, the movie is long, it’s a good three hours. Now, I’ve heard rumors of an “intermission.” My viewing did not have one, nor did I see a break for one. The movie is divided up into “chapters,” I think there were five. But there was no announcement of an intermission. So unless this is something the theaters are doing on their own, yeah, there is no intermission.

Yes, everyone dies. It’s a freaking Tarantino movie, what do you expect? I’ve read some reviews of people complaining about how the woman in the movie is covered in blood for the entire film and how pleasure is taken in her death, whereas the others are quickly killed. If you pay attention to the freaking plot, guess what? It makes sense! She is the main criminal and the reason everyone else is dying—jeez. Like I said, its things like this that made me wonder if I was watching the same movie everyone else did.

The fake accents are a bit extreme and get annoying, but I’ve endured worse. The small details make the movie what it is, and there’s some humor mixed in to keep you entertained. The cinematography is spot on, except there are a few drawn out scenes, like the opening one, where you stare at a snow covered statue for a good five minutes. I’m sure it was all the “set the scene” or something, and in a society of instant gratification we have forgotten how to appreciate the art behind it.

Overall, if you like Tarantino movies, then you should def go see it. You won’t be disappointed, but don’t expect an intermission. If you need a bathroom break, try to go during one of the “stare at the snow covered mountains” scenes.

The Big short, movie review

This movie has to be one of the most under-advertised movies of the year. I literally saw no trailers for it. But that is why I scroll through fandango and watch the trailers on there, its amazing how many good movies you can find that were given zero advertising.

The movie started out a bit slow and at first I worried I’d gotten myself into a two hour marathon of boring. Everyone else in the audience was super old—not a confidence builder. But the movie picked up, using wry humor to keep an otherwise boring plot spruced up with some hot spice. Attempts were made to make boring things, like explaining bank bonds and loans, by having them explained by hot girls in a bubble bath or by using metaphors with a famous chef in a kitchen. The plan works well and even the most inept audience member should be able to keep up.

The characters have more personality than you’ll see in most movies, something that I’ve found is common in movies based on true events. The actors did a superb job of making a story that could have been a boring flop, a highly entertaining movie.

Would I recommend it for everyone? No. But if you like dramas and learning something when watching a movie, then yes, you should go see it.