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Pan, movie review

I’d seen the negative reviews for this movie, and even I found the trailers to be unappealing. Curiosity still got the better of me, and I decided to go see it. Let me just start by saying, yes, this movie is as bad as everyone is saying.

If you’ve seen “Madeline” (1998) then you can relate to the acting quality of this movie. These actors are over dramatizing their characters on purpose. The weird effects and backdrops are cheesy and unrealistic, again, on purpose. Sadly, this makes both the acting and scenery unbearable. The music is no better. Several times the music alone pushed me from the movie as it blared louder for no reason other than to be annoying. The characters also break into song a few times, and this is even weirder because they are singing songs from pop culture, (singing it horribly and out of key) and yet, this is set in WWII.

Hugh Jackman’s character black beard is the worst cliché in the movie. He’s trying to be like Johnny Depp’s Captain Sparrow, but Hugh Jackman is no Johnny Depp. The character wears make-up, black feathers, and has so much fluff in his coattails that it looks like he is wearing a ballerina skirt.

Now the plot. If you have read the original Peter Pan, not the Disney happy version, but the real dark and dreary novel by J.M. Barrie, you’ll know Peter Pan is not a good person. This movie took more of that kind of Peter Pan than the Disney one. By the end of the movie, Peter Pan is ordering fairies to murder people. Yup, Pan kills people. Then, Pan goes back to the orphanage he is from and collects all the orphans. The movie plays this off as a happy liberating moment, but if you know the story, you’ll know Pan is really kidnapping these boys. He will later brainwash them into staying with him and using the fairy dust to forever remain boys. Pan doesn’t want to grow up and he doesn’t want to be alone, so he kidnaps boys and convinces them to be with him. In this movie you see the start of that.

I felt sick as the movie ended, my skin crawled at the fact they were trying to put a positive spin on such an evil action. Pan is kidnapping those boys to join his cult. No amount of happy music is going to alter that.

Should you see this movie? No. I left the theater wanting to scratch the images and memories of that movie from my mind. Now, if you liked Madaline and you like Peter Pan. then yeah, seeing the movie might be worth it for you.